1 stone milestone

First 4 weeks, actually full on 31 days on abstinence are done!! I’m very proud of myself. Everyone said it would be sooo hard to go back on abstinence. And it hasn’t for me. There aren’t enough opportunities to gloat (interpreted as cockiness, doing things ‘easily’) so I’ll gloat a bit here.
I have almost lost [...]

Picking myself up

I think I was very, very tired yesterday. What a rant! But. When I actually hauled myself to bed last night, I felt considerably calmer, having written all that ‘out’ of my head, and actually thought to myself this blog is in some ways better than thought records (which is a type of ‘journal tool’ [...]

Feeling fat

Stuff whirling in my head in no particular order.
Have been thinking about food on and off today. Was watching MasterChef and thinking how nice it would be to be cooking again. Already. Soon.
Getting ready for bed my mind wondered to Chinese takeaways, specifically it was wondering how bad would it be to just have a [...]

Feeling flat

That’s the best way to describe it. I think, scratch that, I KNOW my hormones aren’t doing their thang properly at the moment. How do I know? I have neverending period, that’s how. Pure laziness and avoiding the issue etc. and blah blah blah that I haven’t hauled my ass to the doctor’s already. Next [...]

Stop when you’re full

This is the 3rd thing that is driving me BONKERS!!!!!! Stop?!?!?!?!???? I NEVER KNEW WHEN TO STOP. How will I know? ALL scientific evidence says it takes, what, 15-20 minutes to register that you’re full. So how is that supposed to work out then? Do I stop every 2 minutes to wait for 15 minutes [...]

Eat what you want

This is the second thing. Eat what I want?!!??!? Referring to the previous post, how the hell do I trust that I’m hungry in just the right ‘way’ to actually KNOW what I should be eating? HA, there’s the word already, should. How do I get rid of it? How do I recognise what I [...]

Eat when you’re hungry

I’m obsessing about this. Well, it’s one of the 3 things I’m obsessing about at the moment.
There are times when this thought terrifies me: how do I know when I’m actually properly hungry and not just bored or whatever? How do I know I’m hungry enough to actually justify eating something? How do I know [...]

Other people’s snacks

In my new job I have a colleague sitting diagonally from me who tends to snack on chocolate, crisps, that kind of thing. I don’t have a judgemental attitude about it, I’m just observing myself observing this. And it’s interesting how much attention I am paying. The sound of crisp eating is marvellously distracting. Because [...]

My interest in alcohol

Alcohol. I feel so relieved to not HAVE to drink any. Yes, I really feel ‘have’ is the word I need to use to describe how I feel about this.
This week in the LL group was the first time I ever said out loud that I was drinking so much during my 2 stone trip [...]

Teaching your cells new tricks

I had an insightful phone conversation with a friend earlier this week. She has a loooooooong (yes, really, that long) history of digestive difficulties, food allergies and a generally shitty time with trying to eat anything really, so she comes with hardcore experience in different ways of easing yourself back to eating. Which is [...]