(LighterLife Route to Management – Week12 Day6)
This is it. I am ‘done’. I’m at the start of my life. I am so uncertain of what’s going to come next!!
Chocolate and cake
Seems almost irrelevant to talk about this, but let’s do it straight up because sweet things have been the trigger to try on this week. I tried to have cake. I stood in front of cake displays in numerous coffee shops. But I didn’t fancy any of it. I also tried to buy a donut, a croissant, or some kind of pastry based dessert. But I didn’t fancy any of those either. What I did fancy and then have was brioche. That was a mistake and I knew it when I bought the bloody thing. I didn’t eat all of it but I nearly did. Yes, a binge, my only one this week by the way!! Brioche is the closest thing I know to something from my childhood, a treat preserved only for parties and special occasions. It was in limited supply at any other time. So logically (!!!!!) became the object of DESIRE. And the rest you are reading here! The other sweets I tried during the week were a brownie, vanilla ice-cream and a butterscotch cookie. They were nice but I didn’t fancy another one, and soon forgot all about them!!
The Thought Record
I did it. I FINALLY DID IT. I took about 3 weeks in the build-up but it’s done now. I can move forward. That’s all there is to say about it. It was 13 pages long, and it brought up a whole load of thoughts and feelings I had been pushing away. I’m breathing and sleeping a bit better now. Also the conversations I’m having with people are not quite that loaded. I FEEL better.
Reaching the end of Route to Management
I’m not quite sure how I feel about it. Now that I have one day left, I FEEL FINE. I don’t feel panicky, because this week – which was anticipated with fear both for the ending and for the chocolaty things – has gone by really quickly because I’ve been extremely busy, and it’s felt just like ‘any other’ week. By that I mean that I don’t feel better or worse for it. Well possibly BETTER, because I’ve survived it without actually having to struggle to do so!!
I thought I would feel something GRAND, but it feels like another Wednesday! But the reality is that I HAVE arrived at yet another crossroads, and it’s actually quite amazing! I think it will take a while to be able to reflect upon what’s ‘just’ happened during the past 12 weeks.
Filed under: Route to Management, RtM - Week12 | Tagged: Body image, Food, Future thoughts, Observations, Past life, Random thoughts
I’ve recently gone on to development after 14 weeks on Lighterlife, having lost 3 stone. I wanted to lose another ten pounds, but after one development class find myself flagging, and now seriously considering going on to RTM next week as the prospect of not even having a piece of chicken for another month is seriously getting me down! Is it still possible to lose weight on RTM? What kind of food do you eat? I don’t have a sweet tooth anyway (not now!) so the prospect of living on chicken and fish, etc., indefinitely is very appealing. (I don’t even like potatoes, bread, cakes, although I can be tempted to have the odd piece of chocolate!) Some tips would be appreciated!
Hi Marie, congrats for your results so far, that fantastic :)
It’s a tough choice, deciding when to go onto RTM. First time around (not covered in this blog, unfortunately) I can now say I definitely started RTM too early. I remember feeling that anxiety you’re talking about, I just couldn’t WAIT another week!!!! The best advice I can give you is have a one on one with your Councellor to talk about it – she might be able to help you work out if you are really ready or if your crooked thinking is playing up trying to convince you you’ve ‘lost enough already’.
Losing weight during RTM may happen for some as in the first 3 weeks the food intake is very low, BUT it’s not guaranteed, so don’t be disappointed if you don’t… And don’t worry about which foods and all that, the 12 weeks of RTM are all laid out for you in the blue book you’ll get. It’s gradual and really well thought out, so if you follow the book you’ll be fine. If you look through my 12 weeks you’ll get a glimpse of what it’s like, but of course we are all different :)
Good luck!!