Managing after Route to Management

(LighterLife Management – Month 1 Week1)
Stretching the concept of time. Feeling less compulsed to write every day. Feeling no less compulsed to plan my days and be conscious of what I’m eating, how I’m feeling, and where is it all leading to…
I do feel like I did earn a break from constantly analysing my thoughts, [...]

Route to Management – Week 12

(LighterLife Route to Management – Week12 Day6)
This is it. I am ‘done’. I’m at the start of my life. I am so uncertain of what’s going to come next!!
Chocolate and cake
Seems almost irrelevant to talk about this, but let’s do it straight up because sweet things have been the trigger to try on this week. [...]

Touch me – I wanna feel MY body

(LighterLife Route to Management – Week10 Day5)
I need to be touched to feel real. I had a lovely Chinese Tui na massage today and during the 60 minutes that the guy kept bounding and rolling and pinching my body I was so acutely aware that no-one else has been touching my body lately (much!) and [...]

Coping strategies: Take the true compliments

(LighterLife Route to Management – Week9 Day3)
I think I’m on to something here. I attended a big party last night and during the night got a very heart-felt, genuine compliment from a childhood friend. I think I last saw him in November last year, which was during the heavy drinking, heavy eating period I went [...]

Some lack-of-exercise observations

(LighterLife Route to Management – Week6 Day6)
My lack of interest toward exercise continues. It almost feels like some kind of a game in its own right sometimes. Will I? Won’t I? When will I? All that.
Last time I went to the gym was Easter weekend. When my mum was visiting. And that was the only [...]

Starting to live with my body

(LighterLife Route to Management – Week5 Day4)
This is a tricky one – the new body. I mean it’s the same body. It’s the same OLD body. I certainly got my old boobs (the very small ones) back, and my face feels more my own, and all that. But having been about the same size for [...]

Coping strategies: don’t buy ‘anything that fits’!

(LighterLife Route to Management – Week3 Day3)
I’m still spending too much money on emergency clothing when what I really need now is a full wardrobe in one size only. There should be no more getting up in the morning, realising nothing fits – whether too tight or too loose – and then nipping out somewhere [...]

Route to Management – week 2

(LighterLife Route to Management – Week2, Day6)
Oh boy. What a difference to Week 1. LOT MORE SCARY!! What I have struggled with, not even admitting it to myself on most days, is the fact that my weight has stayed within the same one kilo perimeter for almost 2 weeks now. I cannot emphasize enough what [...]

Shedding the kilos, and the clothes

(LighterLife Route to Management – Week1, Day2)
As the weight sheds, the weight becomes less important. I have felt this to be the case for a good few days now. HA – sounds stupid but it feels like a long time when you’re observing yourself this closely every day!! So I’m not saying that’s how it [...]

Abstinence is taking its toll

I have been constantly thinking about ending abstinence. My crooked thinking (or is it crooked? still working my way around this one) has moved on from merely talking to me about WEIGHT to ‘only exercise, not abstinence, will make your thighs slimmer and your stomach firmer‘. AND ‘the muscle you’ll get will replace any remaining [...]