Watching the weight at year end

(LighterLife Management – Month 7)
These are the facts: 2 years ago around this time, I weighted almost 90 kilos. 1 year ago this time I weighted at around 80 kilos. This time, I have just reached (upwards) the 70 kilo mark.
Do not be fooled to think this is a result of mindful and patient weight [...]

Management – Month 5 summary

(LighterLife Management – Month 5)
So this is my life pre-Geneen. I think all October I’ve been pretending that I’m ok, that life is normal, that I’m just like anybody else. Whether it’s been because I’m so NERVOUS about the workshop (I’m flying today!!) or whether I’m just so nervous IN GENERAL about having to face [...]

LL vs WW

(LighterLife Management – Month 4)
It has to be done. I would’ve left it alone but in my power plates class there was a girl who went on about doing Weight Watchers at the same time. We got talking, and I said I’d done WW twice but always gained the weight, and NOW, after LL am [...]

Going nowhere in particular

(LighterLife Management – Month 1 Week 3)
You might think I’ve given up and disappeared altogether. Well I haven’t! For the most part though, I have felt an increasing need to isolate myself and just exist for a while. That’s the best way I can describe the past couple of weeks.
Food. Hmmmm. I don’t know. I [...]

Route to Management – Week 12

(LighterLife Route to Management – Week12 Day6)
This is it. I am ‘done’. I’m at the start of my life. I am so uncertain of what’s going to come next!!
Chocolate and cake
Seems almost irrelevant to talk about this, but let’s do it straight up because sweet things have been the trigger to try on this week. [...]

Living up and down on expectations

(LighterLife Route to Management – Week12 Day3)
I hate having expectations. They seem to do little else but mess up my head.
An old friend told me recently how he’s been observing a lot of colleagues around him getting stuck in a vicious circle of having to make more money just to keep up the life they’ve [...]

Coping strategies: Keep your Abstinence mentality

(LighterLife Route to Management – Week9 Day5)
Finding myself in reflective mood this week. A fellow LighterLifer said something in our LL meeting on Friday that I woke up thinking about the next morning. We had a couple of new girls in the group just starting out on Route to Management and we were asked to [...]

I can still see the fat person

(LighterLife Route to Management – Week7 Day7)
She’s not in the mirror, but she’s here. It’s bizarre. When I look in the mirror, I see the current thin me. But when I look down onto my body, it looks BIG to me. Bigger than the mirror self. Somehow my brain twists what I see when I [...]

Coping strategies: Get into conversations

(LighterLife Route to Management, Week7 Day1)
It’s a two-way thing, conversation. Of course it is. But sometimes it can happen even when you’re just listening, or when you’re the only one talking. I feel like I’m having a conversation of sorts when I write this blog. Even if it’s with myself!
And sometimes you have to humble [...]

Coping strategies: now that alcohol is here to stay

(LighterLife Route to Management – Week5 Day1)
Ah, gone are the days of Abstinence when alcohol was merely a distant thought (look at this entry from January!)!! It’s the beginning of my Week 5 on Route to Management, which is to say the only reason now I won’t be drinking any alcohol is if I decide [...]